music

as some of you already know, i am the guitarist/vocalist for the band Bitesize. we are a three-piece indie-pop band from Oakland and San Francisco and we have been playing together for over 4 years. since i am also the lyricist for the band, it should not come as a surprise that we have a handful of songs about transgendered people. i've compiled a few of them here for your listening pleasure! to hear an mp3 of the song, just click on the song title. to find out even more about our band, please check out the Bitesize home page.


Okay, so this first song is one I wrote the lyrics for right when I was deciding to transition. It is a puzzle of sorts, chock full of word play and self references. Sadly, we haven't recorded it yet, but stay tuned...

First Person Plural
unreleased; written & first performed in 2001


it's a rainy day
so let's play a game of words
i go first
i'm a person place or thing
don't make an ass out of you and me
by making a mistake
on question number three

you seem a little stumped
here's another hint
just look under "t" and you will see
that tom means twin
if this game ends in a tie do we both win
or do we have to play again?

some fantasies are real
but some might take some time
and i'm not gonna kill my twin yet
i will bide my time
some day this may all be mine
but until then this is still a thai game

i drew the short straw
let's call it a draw
or call it sudden death
my name backwards
is the word for word in french
i'm an open letter
don't forget to bring
your decoder ring

i'm sure sigmund freud
would have a field day
what would he say?
sometimes a cigar is just a cigar
but this is not a pipe
dream or nightmare
where there's smoke there's fire

my moon's in gemini
it's like we are siamese
we both share a pair of kidneys
some fantasies are real
but some might take some time
and i'm not gonna kill my twin yet
and this will be a little vignette

she reminded me that i am one of a kind (don't wait!)
she said that i can speak my heart and speak my mind (don't wait!)
my initials are almost a dead giveaway
half of what i say is meaningless anyway
she offered me an equal opportunity for life


As you probably know by now, this next song is the one I named this website after. Back in early 1998, I remembered for the first time in a while how I had decided to change my sex back when I was 15. It was fitting that it happened while I was watching my little league all-star game, because I was a huge baseball fanatic as a child. In elementary school, the thing I wanted most in the world was to grow up to be a major league baseball player. By the time I was 15, the thing I wanted more than anything else was to be female. While the song is semi-autobiographical, it does contain a few artistic embellishments: I never actually made the all-star team (I was watching from the bleachers) and nobody broke their collar bone that day...

Switch Hitter
from the CD "The Best of Bitesize", released in 1999

it's the bottom of the ninth the winning run is on third and i am bored to death standing out in left field and i would rather be sitting in the bleachers hanging with the girl in the yellow t-shirt she smiles like she's awaiting a curtain call waves her arms around like she is magical i stick out of the ground like a tombstone i blew the big play and fractured my collar bone a year from now i'll be the center of attention (i swear my mind's made up) after i have had my sex change operation i could look you in the eye and i could make you nervous thinking that i look like i was 60 celsius and you could clown around and make a couple wisecracks and i could laugh along like a broken laugh track i'll smile like i'm awaiting a curtain call wave my arms around like i'm magical brought back down to earth by a curve ball i threw the all star game and shattered my clavicle...


So here is yet another song about a transgendered MTF teenager.

Understudy
from the CD "Sophomore Slump", released in 2001

this must be a test maybe they are onto me it's not the way i look my clip on tie and button shirt are all by the book i dot my i's and cross my t's and if i cross the line i'm just rehearsing my part if i'm ophelia then i will put the shake in shakespeare i get to go mad reviving ophelia and i will put the ham in hamlet i get to go mad it's more than a supporting role in a play that's being put on by an all boy's catholic school it's cool because i get to go mad this must be a test every eye is watching me will this be permanent press for my arch diocese my religion class is all but failing me maybe it's a sign i'm just rehearsing my lines...and i will put the dame in danish...there's a method to my madness i'm not just acting out there's a madness to my method i'm not pretending now there's a method to my madness i'm not just acting out they say practice makes perfect and i'm rehearsing my lines...i don't want to be the understudy i want to go mad!


This next song is about a transsexual who (after many years) finally gets revenge on the guy who used to pick on her when she was a young boy:

Surprise Ending
from "Sophomore Slump", released in 2001"

he was there for the latest foreign flick (he's a film buff) he was always thinking with his dick (with his crew cut) he didn't recognize her from the back of the line (he was blind) he made a comment about her behind (it was fine) she couldn't believe that it was him but she didn't pay any attention behind her behind her behind her behind her who's behind her behind her behind her? she remembered how he used to make her feel like shit (he's a turd) and now surprise! he just stepped in it (he deserved that) he made a comment about her rear end (he's a bum) she turned around and she laughed at him (here it comes) she reminded him of where he used to know her from and he started to double over...what a waste of a whole tub of popcorn raisinettes on the floor where he dropped them and a big puddle of pepsi cola and she didn't pay any attention...


This is the kind of vague anthem that one writes when they simultaneously want and don't want the whole world to know that they are transgendered...

I Forgot My Mantra
from the CD "The Best of Bitesize", released in 1999
there are things that i'd like to say but i don't know how there are things that i'd like to do but not right now i just saw a movie that i really liked but i don't want to do a movie bit i just heard a joke that i like a lot but i forget and if you think a lot you think you know and if you drink a lot you're really drunk and if you think you suck you really suck and when you're hot you're hot i'm a hermaphrodite but that's beside the point i have friends who are kind of obnoxious but once you get to know them they're OK i do secret things when i'm alone in my room but exactly what i will not say there are things that i often do in public but they're embarrassing i do secret things when i'm alone in my room because i'm into that thing...


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julia serano ©2001-2002